Thank you for writing this. I am a therapist and this is something therapists need to read.
It breaks my heart. And it sounds like you’re ready to find a new therapist. You might need to try several before you find one that inspires your trust. Be sure to share this with them.
As humans we are born to disappoint each other. But that’s not supposed to be the defining characteristic of helping relationships. When communicating about and recovering from our disappointment with our therapist, and perhaps our perception of their disappointment in us, becomes impossible, then it’s time for someone new.